The humble mustache is one of the unlikely actors in one of the summer’s movie dramas. Or, to be more precise, the face furniture attached to actor Henry Cavill. This has become a problem because many times for Justice League overlapped with the filming of Mission: Impossible – Fallout, for which Cavill had to grow a mustache (which he was then contractually forbidden to shave). The realities of stunt work meant that Cavill couldn’t wear a fake for MID, so Warner Bros took the plunge and removed the offending stain from its reshoot scenes using CGI (the results didn’t entirely impress fans).
But with such a prestigious role celebrating the elaborate nose warmer, are we going to see a renaissance in upper lip grooming this season? With the hipster beard possibly reaching the end of its lifecycle, this could be the next follicular frontier. But if we are to reclaim the muzzle of 1980s footballers, Latin American dictators and retired Northern Ireland paramilitaries, which mustache style should you go for? Well, in descending order …
Chevron is the closest thing to a naturally developed shape, chevron is a deceptively tricky style to achieve unless your name is Tom Selleck or Ron Swanson. (We just adore Ron Swanson’s mustache. It’s really crisp.) It can balance out the broad facial features and convey some old-school anti-fashion power, but you need a decent thickness of hair and hair. growth to avoid looking like a schoolboy trying to buy a pint.
It works best as part of a generally macho look, so try putting on a bit of the gym before cropping it up, and perhaps pair it with a heavy, unreconstructed scent for maximum alpha-male impact.
The least spectacular, but the easiest to perform of these styles – a classic worker-type mustache paired with a slightly developing beard. A look that suggests you had a well-maintained Chevron, but a week or two of fighting crime, defending your property, and generally sturdiness let it slip a bit. Less eye-catching than a clean-shaven face as there is reduced contrast in skin and hair tone, but you need a decently even growth for this to work.
This mustache style works best with dark colors, as lighter hair can make you look just scruffy rather than ‘relaxed’. It’s Henry Cavill’s mustache in Impossible mission, so expect to see him appear on your Main Street imminently (albeit on men who don’t seem as heroic as Cavill).
The pencil was originally designed as a sleek, minimalist reaction to the dominant facial hair of the Victorians. Popularized by Hollywood idols, he only later became a shortcut for the stealthiest gentleman – and to this day he conjures up images of guys swindling lonely widows out of their savings or selling nylons to women of London during World War II.
That’s not to say it can’t be revived in a modern setting (take a bow, Jamie Foxx), but be aware that it will take an almost daily shave to maintain its clean lines. If you have small features, it can work well. However, if paired with a more tousled look or long hair, there is a real risk of entering “ amateur wizard ” territory (Jack White is a senior offender).
An extremely strong personal statement. Associated with Hulk Hogan, Samuel L. Jackson in pulp Fiction, From ’80s leather “ clones” like the guy from Village People and the metal god to bass and amphetamines Lemmy from Motorhead, it’s a mustache style absolutely no half-measure.
Not recommended for people with long and narrow faces because it will give you a certain equine aspect, and it should be considered part of a complete outfit: it will go perfectly with biker leathers from head to toe or double broken denim. Not such a great fit with something you picked up in TK Maxx to wear to football.
A tricky case to call: on its own merits, a fine mustache style that demonstrates a real commitment to growth, grooming and maintenance. But he has undoubtedly suffered from the association with retro-boring that marred him with the smell of “ Keep Calm And Carry On ” posters, irony-laden electro-swing music and club nights. Blitz-revival.
It fits most face shapes, so if you want to try the handlebars, compare it with a simple outfit inspired by workwear, or go for something smart, preppy, and Ivy League ( or, as is the most famous exhibitor, Rollie Fingers, a baseball kit). In short, if your mustache is eye-catching, then your outfit shouldn’t be.
The absolute big daddy of facefuzz, best illustrated by actor Sam Elliott. A big, shaggy, mature beast perfect for the tallest gentleman, anyone with a huge nose or wide face. It can make you look prematurely old, so be sure to commit to this style. Prepare for some soft ribs from your less forward-thinking peers, like, “ Be careful not to get speared, you big bastard. ”
Also make sure your significant other isn’t going to empty you rather than being seen with someone who seems to spend a lot of their free time playing Magic: The Gathering and watching The Discovery Channel.
Perhaps the worst facial hair style ever – and one that even the patron saint of male grooming, David Beckham, fell victim to – a combination of a pointy beard that lines the jawline and spikes in a sort of patch. soul under the lip, sitting under a disembodied mustache.
A statement that alludes to long hours of discussion on Youtube’s comment threads on Pick-Up Artistry, in-depth reviews of The matrix, and possession of at least one sword (or “blade mastery” as this kind of helmet would undoubtedly call it).
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