A dedicated sex blanket makes sense when you consider that, depending on how exactly you do it, sex can involve things like semen, vaginal fluids, sweat, lube, wax, spilled champagne, can -being a cake frosting (I’m not judging) -And who knows what else. Reveling in the slippage is fun right now; less when you examine the damage to your very expensive sheets with long staples and high number of threads. How do you reconcile the adult need for legitimate, high-quality bedding with the craving for messy, messy sex? Fortunately, we have the sex blanket.
The Liberator Fascinator throw comes in five colors and two sizes, and manages to look so stylish you’d never know it was built to be bumpy. I own it in ‘Velvety Merlot’ and I keep it tucked away on the edge of my bed – before sex, my partner and I just pull it over the covers. The exterior looks like velvet and looks like a plush luxury throw, but inside is a water resistant core. Granted, when you scrunch it up, that core sounds a bit like a diaper, but it’s a small price to pay to be able to shower the Fascinator with all kinds of sexual scent knowing that none of it will seep in. Imagine, after you both collapsed in glory, ripping the blanket off the bed with magician’s flourish before crawling into crisp, dry sheets and passing out. The blanket is machine washable, ten thousand percent more mature than using a slightly damp towel for period sex, and wraps up well if you’re the type of person who excites the danger of in-law sex. girl or if you are the only person in the world who respects the sheets on hotel beds.
If you are a sex nomad, know that Liberator made sex pillows, blankets, and even furniture from their magical fabric, allowing you to protect the sex of most of your home. My partner and I have what is essentially a lounge chair designed for the sole purpose of making sweet love – it’s a premium take on one of the best sex toys for couples.
5 other accessories we love for messy sex
The best sheet set for sex
If you’re ready to go even beyond the sex blanket lifestyle, try the Liberator Sheet Set. The smooth polyester liquid velor is both chic and has a moisture-proof barrier strong enough to withstand all sex juices. It is machine washable, comes in a variety of colors ranging from cyan to pink.
The best body wipes
Messy sex is great, but there are other things to consider besides ruining the sheets. We all pee, and that means we all have urinary tracts, which means we’re all susceptible to urinary tract infections. It’s better to have wipes on hand to clean up right after sex than to let germs get infected in your pee hole. Body wipes are also extremely practical during group sex or anal play, when you want to minimize cross-contamination.
Do sex art?
Before we think about cleaning up messy sex, let’s get dirty. The Organic Loven Love Is Art Kit, founded by South African artist Jeremy Brown, allows couples to turn their gender into art. Just unfold the Dexter-style plastic tarp (but for the pig, not for killing), spread the canvas, open some paint, and put it on. The kit even comes with slippers to put on when you head to the shower after your masterpiece is finished. Then, once it’s dry, you can stretch the canvas, frame it, and hang it in your home. When visiting relatives, just ask “this is abstract” in a higher tone and they will shut up.
The best sex toy cleaner
Remember, you don’t need a third person to have a threesome – a sex toy will do. But, unfortunately, even vibrators can harbor bacteria and should be washed regularly. So what could be more glamorous than rubbing a sex toy with a bar of soap? Well put it in a capsule which disinfects the toy in 10 minutes using UV light. Plus, it not only cleans and charges the sex toy, but acts as a mood light, filling your bedroom with pink and blue hues. The sleek, modern design blends into the bedside décor. Everyone will just think it’s an alarm or a lamp.
A very sexy massage candle
That is true. A candle-lit room really makes panties damp. This elegant candle is inspired by Prometheus, from Greek mythology, who stole fire from the gods to give it to mortals. Not only will this set the mood, but you will also be able to explore the wax game safely and without smudges. Regular candle wax can burn (and not in a good way) and is nearly impossible to remove. The low heat candle will still nourish your creases as it flows over your lover’s nipples, but they will moan rather than cry out for help.
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